Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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