normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
