Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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