You smell like stripper and shame
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
