Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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