I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is the high leading the old right now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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