My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
