his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
