All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
