my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
