I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
