Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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