i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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