i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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