i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We got so high we made milksteak
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
jump out the window naked night went bad
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
