Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We're too hungover to prance.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
