Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize