Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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