hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize