love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
