Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
