At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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