I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
