To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
