:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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