I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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