Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
