Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm just crazy horny about you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
