at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize