Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
and she was petting her beer can
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
