I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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