there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
