Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
