There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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