He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize