This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
