my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
how do flat chested girls get laid?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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