plz talk dirty to me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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