I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
