Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
