If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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