i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
