Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
