so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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