Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
