we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Enjoy the penises
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
