their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
