So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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