What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
