It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
