Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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