Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
