Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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