I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
