Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
