Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
