yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
