that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
