I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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