Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
