Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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