So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
