i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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