I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
