just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
As shirtless as possible
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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