Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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