the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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